Wednesday, September 7, 2011


Remember Stretch Armstrong? I would like to offer him an apology. An apology for everytime I stretched him so far it tested his limits. For the time that me and my friends stretched him in all directions until syrupy oooze started to seep out of his arm joints. We stretched him much further than he was ever meant for. For now, I understand how he must have felt, as I am being stretched mercilessly in all directions. At this point, I'm not even sure I can retain my original shape. Am I oozing yet? Not yet, but my cat and kid are. Im screaming "STOP, JUST STOP, I CAN'T DO IT ANYMORE" but the pulling continues. No one is asking for anything unreasonable. The kids want to be fed, played with and bathed. Cici wants to be carried around all the time or she just sits and cries. I need the house cleaned and dinner cooked and bills paid ON TIME, laundry done, if even just for the next day. i need to be on time to work, which means Josh will have to wake earlier as will we, even though we have been up during the night with Cici. I will have to be faster at shaking him off of my leg when he doesn't want me to leave him at school. I need to see a whole lot patients, making their experience the experience of a lifetime that they are hoping for. no pressure. Make sure the exam is precise, done and done well. done efficiently. Nothing missed. Patient leaves the office with a memory they will never forget. Afterall, you will always remember where you were when you found out "boy or girl" or God forbid something is wrong. Being distracted from any of these things mentioned above is not an option, yet sometimes it sneaks away from me. There is no prioritizing. none. One issue is just as important as the next. And they are all valid. But the stretching, the pulling in all directions at the same time is killing me. So in the end, I feel like I am not performing well as a mommy, wife a daughter or an employee. Im so exhausted I don't even know when to scream "UNCLE!" For right now, I may be oozing a little at the arm joints, I just pray that the pulling will stop before something gets broken.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Runaway mom

To all 5 of my faithful followers, please let this go in one ear and right out the other. Although any encouragement, advice or critique would be appreciated. I guess my point is, hopefully once I let all this out I will be over it. I hope so, because I have been stewing for weeks now. That is SO not healthy. do YOU determine the order of your priorities? I am always so afraid that I am going to do something wrong and even worse, regret something.
For the first time, I am feeling unsettled with my job. That alone is extremely unnerving and new. Then I leave work and have about 3.5 minutes to unwind before I pick Cici up. Then we get home and its CHAOS! Usually 2 dinners to cook. (the kids and ours if they can't have what we are having or its not going to be ready in time) then bath time. But this time Caroline is cranky and exhausted. They magically get calm right as Frank gets home so it looks like I have gone off the shiz-zang for 2 perfectly calm kids. So tonight Frank calls and says he missed his stop on the train so he was going to be late. This call took place as both kids were crying for me. So of course I have visions of him kicked back on the nice quiet train. Sounds good to me. So enter a moment of bitterness. I wanted to run away from home. Then the colossal feeling of guilt came back just in time to keep me from packing my hobo stick and bandana. There is nothing about this entire scenario that I can change. I just have to suck it up and smile through it. Here is the painful and frustrating part. I LOVE all parties previously mentioned. There is not one thing I can change about any one thing I mentioned. So why bother getting so beside myself about any of it? I DONT KNOW!! Maybe its just a matter of "this too shall pass" I don't like this feeling of feeling so overwhelmed. Work used to be my haven, a place where ironically things were in their place and the unpredictability was always predictable. Right now, that is just not the case. I cant even size up my priorities enough to decide what to do. For the moment I will grin and bare it. No question, God will lead me to the right thing to do.

Friday, July 29, 2011

Found my calling!

I have come to a very important conclusion. Here is my thought process. Surely you didn't think I was going to just get right to the point? Right up until I met Frank Chavira, I never pictured my self being a mom. For one, I was painfully aware even then what my concerns for my children's health would do. But mostly, I was too busy wondering around, trying to establish my career and find my identity on top of it. Then enter Frank Chavira. It was easy, so easy. The whole relationship, commitment, marriage, easy, it was a no-brainer. Having children was the natural progression. There was never any doubt that my children were destined to "institutionalized" (daycare kids) I love my job, I love what I do. God granted me an amazing gift and I intend to use it to the best of my abilities. So it was decided that I would "settle" I would give my children the second best thing. A working mom. But WAIT! Three and half years and 2 beautiful children later, it occurs to me, I have found my calling. wait for it.....wait for calling to be a really good working mom!! That is not the second best thing I can give my children. I have come to the realization that I am a "juicebox mom". I am not the Alpha Mom.

A perfect example of who should stay home with their children: The Alpha Mom. (I won't mention her name to avoid any potential embarrassment but let's just call her "Calliou's mommy". She truly is the Alpha Mom. She is happily married, highly educated, beyond creative. She could bring Martha Stewart to tears. Her children and brilliant and well rounded. Well behaved. She enjoys getting out of the house on her own as this is not her only identity. She maintains a happy marriage an orderly house. Ok, spotless and well decorated. When it comes to holiday parties for the kids and I am busy feeling proud of myself for cutting up strawberries and cheese, she is making some beautiful and delicious creation that will doubt be on a stick. Children will squeal with delight. Her gift is find wonderful and creative ways to use all of her talents. This is my perception and Im sure she would edit this if she could to something far more humble. I also don't pretend that this is always an easy task. She is the Alpha mom, not super woman.

I am the juicebox mom. I am reminded of a Christmas party Josh had last year at his school. We were asked to bring a little something that all 22 of them could enjoy. The first thing I thought of was "How can I make Josh proud?" "What would Josh like?" So Im checking out the sign in sheet and I see cookies and rice krispie treats repeated on the same list. Not much variety. But who am I to judge? They have to work too right? I was busy with a new born and a 2 year old. So anything labor intensive is likely not gonna happen. Even if I could think of something. So I decide to go with Josh's favorite...fruit and cheese. I bought the fruit fresh and cut it up and placed it ever so pretty on Christmas trays. Lovingly cut the cheese in to cubes (insert joke here) and placed in on another Christmas tray. Feeling a little bummed that this is the best I could come up with I took it into Josh's class. He is foaming at the mouth over it at this point. What I see are Kroger made cookies and pre packaged boxes of Rice Krispie Treats. Don't get me wrong, I have gone the route of being the "paper plates and napkins" girl. But the moral to this story is...I give the best I have. Josh is always excited and proud. And isnt that the point. The teachers at their schools know the cute songs and have the know-how to teach. Im not a teacher of everything just by virtue of being a mom. I watch their schools VERY carefully. God knows I have stepped on toes and left destruction in my wake. But these are MY babies and if any one of them say they would do any less is crazy. I just don't ever want to regret anything. I will continue to try to divide my talents as efficiently as I can, always to the benefit of my family. I rarely do it efficiently and its not always easy. But I am so thankful God called on me to be a working mom for Josh and Caroline!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

who can teach me?

Tonight I had my mommy hat on. Dinner time for the kids...peanutbutter and jelly sandwich requested by Josh soon as we walked in the door. By all means TRIANGLE PB&J. hand a fella a whole sandwich and the entire chemistry of changes to something awful! He then later requested some chicken nuggets. sigh...and heverytie we go. Frank and I were having tacos and I knew he wouldn't want that. to be honest, I didn't think he would want to eat after he demolished that sandwich. SO chicken nuggets and and cucumbers. For God's sake don't forget the ranch. a.k.a white sauce. Again, white sauce can turn any food into a glorious thing. milk. Not perfect, but in the middle of this is our dinner and a 9 month old going through her bipolar mood changes.Its the convenience food that bothers me. Cici had...hold on..throwing up a little in my mouth..LITE Vienna sauages. talk about processed CRAP! then some peas and carrots and fresh blueberries. Oh, and a stolen chicken nugget from Josh's plate. Its just so hard. And I swore until Josh was born, eating healthy was going to be a walk in the park. you just don't give them the crap...thats all. Thats true to an extent. They dont get sugar here. We do sugar free everything. I guess thats something. Im going to obtain the supermom status one of these days. I know there are mommys that do it everyday. I know where my weakness lies...organization. Who can teach me? I need desperately to be a great mom that Josh and Cici can be proud of and this just isn't going to cut it. Why can other people get it all done and I can't. Im not stupid...Im educated....Im just lacking. Maybe this is the best it gets? I will continue to try so Josh and Cici can be proud.

Monday, July 11, 2011

crazy hat lady

Boy do I wear a lot of hats! In no certain order...

1. Sonographer hat...This particular hat is very no-nonsense, practical if you will. It stays out of my face so that my vision is clear. Stain resistant. Although I can't imagine how my hat would get stained. Given that this a proverbial hat I guess it doesn't matter. It has no bows no accesories, purely functional. It gives a gentle and calming impression to my patients.

2. Friend hat...Very colorful, very playful. Nothing like what Beatrice wore to the royal wedding. Perhaps something that has several parts to it for nights out with the girls. Fun and crazy. But can be pinned back and toned down when I have a friend in need.

3. Daughter hat...this hat is a beautiful shade of a light dusty pink with perhaps a cream colored flower pinned to the side. kinitted by loving hands. This hat keeps tools in it that allows me to help when I can but is child like in type and color to remind me that sometimes I feel like the parent, I am really their baby girl.

4. Wife hat...This hat is a deep scarlet read. it is pinned at an angle on my head, Giving a dramatic look that enhances the look of m eyes. This reminds me of the love and passion I have for my husband. It has an amazing ability to transform itself into a hat much like my sonographer hat. Very practical and calm and ready to take care of him or help out in any way.

5. my favorite...the MOMMY hat...Upon first glance, it looks much like a prayer kapp. (the caps the Amish wear) this is to remind us of the conservative and chirstian way I want to lead my children too. But upon further investigation this hat can morph in to many other hats at a moment's notice. There is ever kind of tool available. toy fixing, dinner finxing, fever fixing...etc. I'm sure my hat will continue to grow and I will learn new ways to use it.

It occurs to me that I wear so many different hats in a day. Its easy to lose your personal identity. My favorite part of myself is being Frank's wife and Josh and Caroline's mom. But somewhere in there, there is Edie...just plain ol' Edie. There is also Frank and Edie. These are 2 identities that don't get enough attention. I think we have found a babysitter and maybe that will give us some re-coop time. Just a a couple of hours to take my hat off and let my hair down!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Tofu and father/child bonding

Ok, so last week was an epic fail as far as my goals set! no surprise there. SO maybe I won't even bother this week.

But I personally am going to strive to eat very little processed food. That should not be difficult when fruit and veggies are at their best! But I did purchase some tofu. I would like for my first cooking experience to be a good one so if anyone has any good tofu recipes that would be much appreciated!!

Tonights topic....This kind of came up with another friend of mine on FB. Thanks for the idea, Mary. We all know there is a power and biological bond between mother and child. But what about father and child? the ability to bond? of course. biological...I believe so down to my very core. Would love to hear thoughts from other mommys and daddys.

SO in for tofu
thoughts on father/child bonding

Thursday, July 7, 2011

I am definatly lacking some skills....

Ok, so here is the whole stupid reason for this blog! I failed miserably! I haven't even had time to do a diary! First, I get beat like a rented goat at work, then home and everyone is STAAAARVING and about to perish from the Earth. So Cici ate 4, yes 4 chicken nuggets and a bunch of green beans. Josh ate a grilled chicken and cheese quesadilla and some fresh tomato. Both of them ate good. Then it was bath time. Then it was play time. Oh yeah, Frank and I need to eat. Im so exhausted. So not only do I have a food diary to report, but I have not completed any of my chores. And the house cleaning fairies are no longer visiting. How do you maintain a clean house and feed and clean and play with your children? God forbid, time with your spouse? sigh

Academic check...Does anyone have any good resources on how to teach your child to read. Josh is already recognizing several site words. So I get some flashcards and become quickly aware that this is why I'm a sonographer and not a teacher. How do you sound out the word "train" ?

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Rules of the house!

So here are the rules of the Chavira house where dinner time is concerned...

1. You don't have to eat all your dinner, but you can't have something different.
2. No TV while we are eating

Really? Is that all the rules we have have? Its about all I have time to enforce.

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

nature or nurture

I am certain that Joshua Chavira is the SWEETEST boy in the world. Don't get me wrong, he can act his age, but not often and not crazy bad. In all honesty, when he does act up at school, he will always test positive for Strep! Pediatrician says the same thing about her daughter. I thought we were crazy for thinking that. BUT ANYWAY, I would like to hear from my friends that have more than one child and can see the personality differences, what do you think? Is the "sweet factor" nature or nurture or a little of both? So far Cici has shaped up to be a little more high maintenance than we remember Josh being at her age. She is much more animated and dare I say...dramatic.. UGH, I just hate that I had to say that. She is so far not the docile creature that Josh is/was. Please dont misunderstand, I am ok with that. I am not complaining. She is so funny and so much fun. Just curious. I can't imagine that we would be lucky enough to get to children as sweet as Joshua. She can sure dole out some good drooly open mouth kisses! those are the best!!

SMACK!..why didn;t I think of this?

New recipes....
fish traingles
sweet potato waffle fries. something like that. Think i will try that one tomorrow

Tonight was spaghetti and salad. Josh demolished 2 plates of spaghetti with whole wheat pasta. and some salad. He LOVES cucumbers. who doesnt?

Cici ate a cup of green beans, then some spaghetti and then a cup of mandarin oranges...WHEW! she was putting it away!!

Can't wait to see what he thinks of the sweet potatoes.

Monday, July 4, 2011

food diary...

We have been off for the last week. Tomorrow we start back to our routine. I will hit the floor running at work and will be completely exhausted by the end of the day. But alas, the babies will need to eat. Josh will no doubt as for grapes and cheese first rattle out of the box. While he loves grapes, they are merely a garnish to the cheese. I am certain, that if left alone with a one pound block of cheese, he would make a quick disappearance of it. He may look like a snake that just swallowed a rabbit, but would have the same satisfied look on his face.

I have never been a goal oriented person per se but no time like the present to learn.

Goal for the week.....
Come up with 5 new kid friendly recipes
Cook 2 of those kid friendly recipes.
share the recipes on my blog
tackle one chore an evening.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

They say I need to go to rehab...

and I say NOOO NOOO NO! Ok, I should probably stop the Diet Coke. At least in my children's line of vision. sigh. Im certain that should be on the chopping block. Oh boy will that be hard. So is there a person that one can actually consult with that will somewhat customize for our family? Someone that specializes in exactly what Im asking about or do I need to just keep researching tons of books? This just can't be that hard. There have to be moms out there that can get it all done. Who are you and how do you do it?

I was Obese when obesity wasn't cool

Thanks for stopping by. I feel like I should offer a little history on myself and perhaps it will offer some understanding of why seeing to it that my children are happy and healthy. So stick with me, I will try to make this a short sob story and then when can move on.....

I would like to apologize for my lack of knowing ANYTHING about blogging. This whole experience is a learning process. I also have the sweet background noise of Wonder Pets and a 3 year old saying "what are you doing, Mommy?"

Goal of this blogging experience: To create a dialogue of ideas for nutritious meal/snack ideas for my children (3 1/2 and 9m) customized for a working mom. Really just overall health and wellness topics. Exercise , vitamins and supplements, maybe even some behavior issues along the way. Josh isn't usually an issue, but something tells me sweet Caroline is going to give us a run!!

History on Joshua and Caroline's mom (Edie Walker-Chavira): As the title says, I was obese when obese wasn't cool. In other words, there was no real issues with childhood obesity in my growing up years. I was it. In my day, being fat was one of the last socially acceptable discriminations. What I mean by that is, not only was I ridiculed by my peers from the time I hit Frank Borman Elementary, but also by teachers and other adults. I had nowhere to turn. All I could do was eventually submit and try to convince myself that I really am intended to just be a target. That indeed I am defective. This is something I brought on myself. If was so upset about it, then what didn't I just do something about it. Don't misunderstand, I had a great bunch of friends. Had some really great experiences. My parents were wonderful. I never knew I was any different than anyone else until I started school and the kids and teachers were more than happy to tell me. My parents instilled enough self esteem that I always wanted to try something new and usually found myself the center of attention. I was always the funniest, always the peacemaker. But everyday I walked outside my home it was a war zone. Who was going to say something ugly? Was I going to have to be weighed in front of everybody for some P.E. thing or some science project? Would some jack ass boy be relentless through an entire biology class to the point I couldn't even concentrate in class so then I made some crappy grade? The stress in my stomach must have lasted until I was 33 years old. I'm not really sorry it happened now. I have amazing friends that have been with me since high school, some even longer. I married a beautiful Marine who is a wonderful husband and provider. He is a father to beat all fathers. he inspires me everyday to be a better mom. And he loves ME. I don't wish revenge on anyone. I hear alot of those people (and you know who you are) ended up in rehab or whacked out on drugs or on their 3rd marriage and/or bald and pushing 300lbs. Or have 4 kids they can't take care of. Karma takes care of itself. Although I will share this...There was a "guy" in my Geometry class that was just relentless. THe teacher was too old and burt out to care. the guy was awful. he fancied himself quite the ladies man. Years ago when I was working at the hospital in XRAY while i was still in college, this boy comes in, the joke in the ER, seems he was "wrestling" on a waterbed with another GUY and dislocated his shoulder. Sounds painful. They wheeled him over huffing and puffing in pain. I didn't recognize his name, he's not important enough for that so I was feeling sorry for him. That shit hurts! But oh boy! I recognized his face and BOY OH BOY DID HE RECOGNIZE ME!! Let me tell you, that "man" started crying like a little girl. Even got about 12 apologies. i would have never intentionally inflicted any harm to him, even though he very intentionally inflicted harm on me everyday. So I will admit, I did take a moment of observation....observing how karma can come back to bite you in the ass!! I realize these were just kids doing what I'm sure they were taught by their parents. They have no power over me. I could not be happier. Saying something as simple as "you don't want to eat that cake, it will make you FAT" BAM! right have made in personal. The idea is to be healthy, right? Thats where we are going with this. I know this, I ate the same things my brother and sister did, in fact, probably less once my mom strarted worrying, but they were skinny. How much of this is genetics? Part of what I want to hear opinions about and research.

For Joshua and Caroline: I do not wish for them to NEVER eat a piece of birthday cake or enjoy something southern and yummy and at the grandparent's house. But I do need them to make healthy choices for everyday living. And I have to be able to provide them without going insane in the process. The moment I step in from work with the kids is the most chaotic. Josh needs snacks, Cici needs to eat. They need baths, hugs, diapers, to be played with. Oh yeah, then there is mommy and daddy and what are we going to eat. Spend time together? HA!
They will be required to play some kind of sport or something active. There will be no choice there. They have to move. I wasn't sedentary as a child but I will not invite that lifestyle into the Chavira household.

I think that is about it for the summary of me and the my goal. I look foward to learning new things about my family and yours!

Here's to happy healthy children!